Birth Mother Panel

Birth Mother Panel
Yesterday i went to this birth mother panel for adoptive couples thing. There were 4 birth mothers there and about 25 couples wanting to adopt. So 50 people staring at us. We all just told our stories of the whole process from why we chose to adopt, How we picked the couples, If we met them before the birth, Labor and delivery, placement, and then what life is like now. It was alot harder than i expected it to be. I went second and the girl before me told her story and i just started crying. Then it was my turn how was i going to get thru my story if i was already crying on the previous girls story. My story was the longest i just kept going and going lol it was bad. After words James came and gave me a big hug and told me he was proud of me. He said we probably should get together soon and discuss some issues. He said i obviously havent dealt with it yet. I've just pushed my feelings back. He wanted me to do an even bigger panel with about 150 people there and i dont think i can do that again. Maybe in a few years but not anytime soon that was really hard. Im doing ok now it was just the first time reliving the whole experience out loud from start to finish. Everything is going to be ok Jayden is great! Eric and Heather are great! My life is great :) Everything is just great as long as i dont have to do another one of those panels again..