Sealing

It happened! Devin and I are finally sealed to each other and our little ones. Yesterday June 15th 2013 was the best day of my life. It all started when Dev told me he was ready to see the missionaries. I was stoked to hear that, we were still inactive in the church but I really wanted to be more involved with it. We started taking the missionary discussions and Dev just wasn't feeling it. I was really struggling with this because I wanted him to get baptized so bad!! I decided to take out my patriarchal blessing and read thru it. It mentioned that I will have a celestial marriage if I do my part. If I turn to the lord in prayer and scripture study then I will have the great blessing of having an eternal family. I was amazed to read that paragraph, all along I was waiting for Devin to change and to want to be baptized but Heavenly Father was waiting on me to do my part. I started reading my scriptures and talking to him daily in prayer. Devin started asking more questions to the missionaries and decided that he was ready to get baptized. After that happen I was completely in shock and felt so dumb for not doing this a lot sooner. The minute I decided to change is when my whole life changed! Dev got baptized by his grandpa Cox May 26th 2012 and was confirmed May 27th 2012. It was a really special day his grandpa cried when he was baptizing him, you could tell that it meant a lot to him. I was emotional the whole day too! A year later June 15th 2013 we got sealed in the Mount Timpanogas temple. This day was the best day of my life to date! I woke up around 4:30 to get ready to go over to my friend Keri's house so she could do my hair. I got home and picked up Dev and we headed to the temple. When we arrived we checked in at the desk with our temple recommends :) we then continued on this beautiful journey. I went into the changing room and put on a robe to do the initiatory, that was very surreal. Everything about the initiatory was symbolic it definitely wasn't modernized at all. I am not sure what I was expecting but it kind of felt like I was joining a cult lol. I will definitely have to go back and see if I can get a little more out of it lol. After the initiatory I got changed into my beautiful temple dress and went into the endowment room. It was pretty long and we watched a movie about Adam and Eve. Every time I would think about seeing my kids I would start to break down because the reality of being sealed to them was just over powering. We finished the endowment and was then able to move to the sealing room. We had friends and family waiting for us, it was incredible. I got in there and was doing just fine until I sat down and took it all in. I completely lost it. The spirit was so strong and I couldn't believe that I was in that room doing a sealing, doing my own sealing. My kids were going to arrive any minute and we would become and eternal family. I looked over at my dad and I could tell that he was just so proud of me. The feeling of making your parents proud is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I knelt across the alter holding Devin's hand and he just looked so happy. It was so incredible to see him so happy to be with me for eternity. If that doesn't make you feel secure in your marriage then I don't know what will lol. It was now time for our kids to come in, I was worried that they wouldn't recognize us in our little get ups :) Kyle came in and yelled DADDY! He was so excited to see him! I started to cry again seeing how beautiful Kiera looked and how innocent she is. She was about to become mine forever! My kids are my world and until this day I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to be with them forever! We all are now sealed together for time and ALL eternity! We stood in a line and all those that attended the sealing came thru and gave us a hug and congratulated us, they all knew how important this day was to us. They were all rooting for Dev and I and it happened! We took pictures afterwards, Trina (Devin's mom)was completely bitter about the whole thing. She just glared at me and wouldn't even hug me. She must think that I handcuffed Devin and dragged him to the sealing or something... I hope she gets over it because I will be apart of her life for a very very long time. Anyway, we had a lunch after the sealing at our ward building. Everyone that was invited didn't show up probably because the wait between the sealing and the luncheon was quite awhile but that is ok. Someone very special to be did come (The Prescott's) I hadn't seen Jayden since he was 2 years old and he is now 4 1/2! He is such a well mannered little boy. He is being raised by wonderful parents and I can tell that he just adores them and they him. He is a good boy and I am so grateful that I made the decision that I did. When he got out of the car he was a little confused as to who I was. He has a picture of me but pictures always look different than the real person. I asked him if it was ok if I gave him a hug,he wrapped his arms around me and told me that he loved me! I told him that I loved him too and that I missed him. We all went inside and mingled with everyone. I was putting some things away and Jayden came up to me again and told me that he loved me! I just said thank you bud, I love you too and am so happy that you are happy. I also told him that he is such a good little boy and I was so excited to see him! It is such an amazing feeling to know that one of the hardest times in my life turned out to be the greatest blessing. Eric and Heather are such great people! My love for them is unexplainable. I don't feel sadness anymore, in fact after the sealing I felt complete peace towards everything that happened in my past. For years I felt a heaviness in my heart for the decisions that I have made the passed 10 years. It was like all those heavy feelings were washed away after the sealing. I felt friendship and love towards Eric, Heather, and Jayden. I didn't ask to see him the past few years because I felt I would break down when I saw Jayden and I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I didn't want him to remember me as being a mess. I had a feeling to invite them to the luncheon and now I know why. When I saw them I wasn't nervous, sad, or any negative feeling. I felt joy, love, compassion, happiness just all good feelings that I have wanted to feel the passed 4 1/2 years. The sealing power is the most spiritual experience I will ever have! I will remember this day and the day I was sealed to my parents forever. I just felt so close to heaven and finally felt worthy of my Heavenly Father's love for me. This church is true, this gospel is real. I can physically feel the spirit around me and the warmth in my soul. I am so grateful to have found the truth. I am grateful for the blessing of the atonement and for my savior Jesus Christ without his amazing sacrifice I wouldn't be where I am today feeling the way that I do. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ and I do have a personal relationship with both of them. I am grateful for eternal families and that I now have mine sealed to me. This church is amazing!!!